Practicing Gratitude

By Mary Ellen Zung, Mary Ellen Zung Health Coach 
When is the last time you took a moment to ruminate on all the good in your life? If you can’t remember, you’re not alone. Between jam-packed schedules, caring for others, and the never-ending daily list of chores, we tend to forget to create time to take a breather. Unlike other beneficial health practices, cultivating a gratitude practice can be done in very little time with no costly devices, memberships, or equipment.

What is Gratitude?
Gratitude is a strong and deeply-rooted emotion of appreciation. It originates from days when our survival depended on the help of others. The positive feeling of gratitude can inspire us to show appreciation, which will, in turn, make others more likely to help us again in the future. This is perhaps why today we feel the most grateful when we give or receive an act of kindness.

According to psychology research, gratitude is “a social emotion that signals our recognition of the things others have done for us.”

A more detailed definition is provided by The Harvard Medical School, writing that gratitude is “a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible.”  With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals–whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.”

Appreciation

For me, after intentionally practicing gratitude for many years, gratitude goes beyond an exchange, and involves an appreciation for everything in your life.  Appreciating the things we take for granted or even challenges, for what they teach us, is a deeper form of gratitude and can bring calm and peace to your life.

If it’s been a while since you’ve evaluated the good in your life, a simple way to start is to think of three things that have gone well for you and identify the cause. Go a step further by imagining what your life would be like if these positive events had not occurred. Go a step further and ask why these things have gone well or occurred in your life for even better understanding and appreciation!

Paying It Forward 

Darwin himself suggested that humans and other animals share the “same emotions, even the more complex ones such as jealousy, suspicion, emulation, gratitude, and magnanimity.”

More recent research has proven Darwin’s belief correct. By studying animals who cannot express gratitude through verbal language, scientists have found the act of reciprocity—the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit—is at the heart of gratitude behavior.

As humans, our ability to express our emotions through language, reciprocity, and gratitude often go together. When someone is kind to us, and we return the favor, that is a form of direct reciprocity that we expect.

Interestingly, as recipients of acts of kindness and thoughtfulness, we are more likely to help not only the person who bestowed kindness but a third party as well. This ripple effect of indirect reciprocity is a powerful tool for cultivating gratitude.

Gratitude involves a humble recognition that we are interdependent and that we need one another. In fact, the strength of this recognition has led to a movement--pay it forward— whereby strangers perform acts of kindness with the hope that others will do the same.

Give it a try! Find one person who you can do something for without any expectation of them doing something in return. Here are some examples:
– Buy the person in line behind you a cup of coffee.
– Send someone on your team a note just to thank them.
– Write a positive Yelp review about a local business you like.
– Let someone go in front of you in line at the grocery store, who only has a few items.
– Leave a gas gift card at a gas pump.
– Return shopping carts for people at the grocery store.

There is no limit to what you can do! Do something unexpected, and watch what happens.

I’m grateful for you for taking the time to read this blog post.  I invite you to post about your own gratitude practice in the comments section on this blog.

MaryEllen Zung is a Certified Holistic Health Coach.
​She can be reached at [email protected]